i guess you will never understand…
the feelings you gave me.
the first time you came over.
our first kiss and what you said right after we did. “does that mean yes?” with the biggest smile on your face. i remember what you were wearing exactly that day; two white shirts(one was a long shelve and the other short), black basketball shorts and your red Nikes. We played with a ball in the street till it was dark and the street lights were on. it also started to sprinkle that night.
But that’s all i have to live with from you…memories. the good and the bad ones. the ones that made me smile and laugh to the ones that made me mad and cry.
one favorite memory is when we were at your house and i brought a bag of swedish fish for you and we took them and put them between our teeth and practically fed each other them kissing, laughing and smiling with each other. your the reason why i like swedish fish so much now. (btw 3 1/2 lbs. bag at the commissary for $5)
many more i could just type up and smile about…but what difference would it make. text or call me whenever you feel like it so i don’t bother you anymore. oh and I’m getting my license Tuesday at 11 a.m finally.
I’ve loved and I’ve lost.
Abbi. I don’t want Sean. I don’t even talk to him anymore. And I don’t ever want to. I know I won’t be able to find someone like you. I won’t be able to find some who made me feel the way you did. I don’t want to find someone else. I want you.
Being your last high school sweet heart doesn’t matter. Being the one you go to bed with everynight and wake up to..matters. being Mrs. Giles…matters.
you don’t care. you never did. if you did, you would give a fuck about my mom. you probably cared more about what she thought and said then me.
yes of course this is all new to me, i have never fell in love and felt like i meant the world to someone. and I’ve never been left alone like you did me.
i cant even fucking talk to you anymore, because every time i do, i just to beg for you to come back. knowing you’d say the same shit like you always did. i let my guard down and you just fucked with my emotions just having fun. who the fuck does that to anyone.
oh well, i’m moving on. slowly but surly, going to have fun this summer.
go have fun. go drink. go find some new girls. go do whatever.
I’ve loved and I’ve lost.
Alone.and.Pathetic.
I hate you!!!!!!!
Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you! And that bitch you replaced me with.
all my thoughts are of you. i wake up thinking of you. i go to sleep thinking of you. i told my sister that i was going to marry you. i text you. i want you to text me first one time. when i do text you. i keep my feelings and thoughts bottled up because i scared that you’re just going to tell me “it doesn’t matter, its over and we can’t change it”
the past nine months…have been the absolute best. i wouldn’t have wanted to spend them with someone else. i hope i can be with you another nine months. and then another nine months. i really and truly mean it when i say i love you.
don’t know what to think at this moment…really lost but i feel like your guiding the way. maybe in the right direction or in the wrong. my love for you grows stronger and stronger for you each day. even though we aren’t together. i don’t even care about friends as much as i care about you. you are the best friend that is hard to find. the man that can be trusted, who can make laugh or smile just by looking at me, who i feel loves me unconditionally some days, you’re loyal, which is also hard to find. ive never doubted you…not for one second. i don’t know what to do at this point because of what happened earlier…but i loved it. i truly loved it. but now that i’ve missed you and you’ve come back hopefully for longer…maybe forever? i want to cry.
your smell has been left on me..i don’t feel like taking them off. i want to know why it happened and what does this mean…
